growth in transparency

Taking some time for myself to reflect and acknowledge all I have to be thankful for and deciding its time to finally write about the past few months of life.

I updated you guys in August with a brief update of what my time in Napa was looking like and most definitely left you hanging with some cool stuff God was doing in my life. Because theres so much, ill break it into (a few) different parts for ya..

God has completely redefined my view of Him by breaking through the box I put Him in. I had broken my toe (who knows how) and was sentenced to a boot for about 8 weeks. About at the 7 week mark before the check-up, God WRECKED me. I was at a conference and in a position of leadership rather than attendance (super humbling to be on your knees balling out to Jesus when you're "supposed to be" praying over your students and leading them, am I right?). Because of the obvious boot, many people asked to pray over me and expected to see immediate healing. I, on the other hand, knowing that God is a God of healing, was afraid that if He really did heal me, this would be legit. He would no longer just be this "idea" anymore. Jesus would be real, and my toe would no longer be broken. (I am getting chills and shaking just remembering that moment and writing this) This was a defining moment in my life. Yes, I had heard of healings many times, but NEVER thought Iwas going to "need" it.  I am not going to lie, I was scared out of my mind. When I was driving home that night, I was in KILLER pain, obviously leading to many doubts, questions, concerns, etc. because I had no idea if I should "be on the safe side" and still wear the boot, or try normal shoes. BUT, when I woke up the next morning and in the midst of getting ready, I heard this voice say, "Faith without works is dead." So, I wore the shoe. I could believe God healed me until my face turned blue, but until I acted on my faith, what good was it? I needed to make a choice. Trust that HE is good and faithful orconfine Him to a small box and say "Okay God, thanks for healing me, but Ill just wear the boot because I don't believe it." IT WAS HARD, PEOPLE. This was one of the most defining weeks of my life because I had that follow-up Dr. appointment only 4 days after this happened. What happened if the dr. said it wasnt healed, and that I would be in the boot for another 4 weeks? Did that make Jesus not real? Did that mean I cant be healed? Did it mean that HE cant heal? These were serious questions that I was so scared of.

BUT, I chose to believe and have faith. I went into the appt knowing that if she said that my toe needed another few weeks in the boot, HE IS STILL TO BE PRAISED. and if she said I was fine and it all looked good, HE WAS STILL TO BE PRAISED. Either way, He needs to be praised: in the good AND in the bad. And trust me when I say, this is MUCH easier said than done.

[My toe is fine BTW, no mo boot for ME :-)]

I am breaking my transparency posts up into (hopefully) 3 different parts. This happened in February and let me tell ya, God is still good, He is still faithful, and He is still as cool as ever. Life isn't easy, and I've been learning a lot about that recently, but its still nice to know ya don't always have to be in control. He's got ya covered.

If you're reading this, know I appreciate you. Knowing that you took time out of your life to read what God is doing in mine means a lot.

Cant wait to share more with ya!! With love,

xoxox

AD