2018

Well hello there… Nice to see ya again!!

Remember when I started this blog? I was starting college and the Lord was doing so many good things that I couldn’t not share them with you all! Well the Lord kept doing those really cool things and I just couldn’t keep up in keeping y’all updated!

Well here I am 5 months away from graduating college (!!!!!) and I thought this would be the perfect time to start back up again, reflecting on all that 2018 has been.

You see, I portray on Instagram the cutest little highlight reel of what has seemed to be the dreamiest years… now don’t get me wrong, 2018 brought some of the greatest adventures, sweetest moments of raw emotion, deep laughter, and a few of the most beautiful friendships, but what I didn’t show is the hurt or the loss.

As the year began with the loss of my Papa, and even more personal conflicts and family struggles, it brought up parts of me that I wasn’t okay with. It lead me to discover the “why” and to confront what the deeper issue is- simple you’d think. And as you can assume, came the floodgates of the Lord’s work.

So, the only way to explain what this year has been like for me is to illustrate this idea of a sculptor and it’s sculpture. The sculptor (aka God) took His chisel and started to break away each and every piece that didn’t belong, and man was it painful. It brought my bodyweight in tears, it challenged relationships, it broke my pride to seek council, and it made me stronger because I knew that I wasn’t in it alone - because even in allll the chiseling, I could feel Him applying new clay, molding new pieces of my soul.

I wish I could say it’s been so sweet and I am refreshed and thriving, but all I can say currently is I am exhausted. Yes I am stronger, and yes the Lord is SO good and SO faithful - but honestly, in full transparency, I am ex-haust-ed… spiritually. The Lord is so wonderfully bringing all these hard things to light and saying “here let’s fix them and then change these bad habits” but rather than leaning into His beautiful grace, I find myself running from it. Why? Well we are still working on that one.

2019 brings so many unknowns that bring me so much fear. So, as we begin this new year, I hope to lean so fervently into my faith in Jesus. I am choosing to trust, choosing to learn to lean into the grace and peace that only HE can offer, and choosing to celebrate that I don’t walk alone but in a community and with a God that pushes me, encourages me, and challenges me to be better and to love better.

thanks for walkin' this journey with me!

xoxo Ally